Arthurian Legend

"Once back here I got to thinking - 'how do I get out of this?' Perhaps the really haunting spectre is that I would have to turn my back on the lake, and the prospect of the sword." Alan Clark, Diaries - 19th May 1999

Sunday, 22 April 2007

Lesley White interviews Cameron

"He can scratch a pig’s back so effectively that the creature sighs (this I saw with my own eyes); he can castrate a ram with a pair of pliers (I didn’t see this, thank God)".

Watch out, errant backbenchers.


Saturday, 21 April 2007

Some Members of the Crewe Transport Police...

...would appear, from Richard Brunstrom's blog, to be a bit slow...

Brunstrom, Chief Police Officer of the North Wales force, writes:-

"Back up north on the 1549hrs train from Euston. Got to Crewe but had a thirty minute wait for a connection, during which time a foul-mouthed argument broke out amongst a family group (including a young baby) waiting for a Liverpool train on the same platform. The group split up, but one (drunken) youth in particular continued to hurl abuse from a distance of thirty metres or so, across the heads of the passengers waiting for the train. An intervention was needed, with me in my business suit and carry a briefcase.

Luckily I had spotted that the British Transport police were nearby so I went and fetched them, much to the surprise of everyone, including them, and the youth. He was temporarily arrested and led away to be dealt with by fixed penalty ticket; and was I think quite properly prevented from travelling."

Friday, 20 April 2007

Asia's richest woman leaves clairvoyant £2bn

From today's Telegraph.

Bet she didn't see that coming.

Newman Offers "Galloway" Defence

(click to enlarge)

Covered on his blog yesterday, the Islington Tribune today reports N's joke at the expense of Chris S and myself and the fiasco over the council election voting forms last year.

Basically, without a local campaign agent in Islington North, all the work of verifying nominators' signatures in a number of wards was left to our overworked Chairman, Chris S, now redeeming himself as the extremely hard working, intelligent and no doubt underpaid researcher to Conservative shadow education secretary, David Willetts.

As for the story of the candidacy that was not to be, the situation (rather prosaicly) was that a number of nominators who swore that they were on the electoral register in Mildmay turned out on closer examination not to be. That closer examination took place only about one hour before the close of nominations. Although there was a last-ditch attempt to replace the vital invalid signatures, we still fell one short. Incredibly, Islington Council had managed to put one crucial nominator on the electoral register of an adjacent ward, despite her having resided in Mildmay for years before the date in question.

Anyway, the Lib Dems turned out to be the principal beneficiaries of the signature collection cock-up, retaining crucial votes that otherwise may have gone to the Conservatives and which may have meant Labour narrowly taking the ward, and thus the Council.

Whereas Galloway later protested that his tribute to the Butcher of Baghdad ("Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, and your indefatigability") was in fact addressed to the Iraqi people as a whole, Newmania protests that his words ("the denizens of Mildmay are almost bestially stupid") were in fact meant about me alone.

Still, after this Boris-like escapade it will sadden readers to learn that Newmania will shortly be pursuing alternative career options in another local Conservative association, hoping that the burning building he's fleeing will have engulfed in flames all of its residents (denizens), preventing news about this petite affaire from ever escaping!

Sunday, 15 April 2007

Corporate Social Responsibility

I think I know what Jim Royle from the Royle Family would probably say about that.

In a recent speech, the Boy Dave has lauded a project by a guy called Tim Campbell to get 4000 businesses to donate collectively £1m to enable 365 businesses to be started up over the next year.

Apparently, this is something that companies should be doing to help teenagers and people in their twenties to become entrepreneurs.

DC said "There is a new spirit of creativity in our country. We politicians need to match this with a new spirit of our own - tearing down the barriers which stop people founding businesses of their own. But only when people themselves - as businesses and neighbours - take responsibility for their own communities, will we build the Britain we all want to see: prosperous, safe and socially just."

There's quite a bit to pick apart here.

First, if there's a new spirit of creativity around, why doesn't this extend to creativity about getting money for a new business?

And aren't you a little bit suspicious of politicians claiming to know what the spirit of the age is up to in a way that conveniently fits with their own interests: remember Gordon Brown saying people are moving away from the cult of celebrity (towards appreciating the merits of boring old gits) just as the Sun was splashing news of the Will 'n Kate split across its front page?

And why would a business want to give cash to a potential new competitor?

And how does the creation of new businesses in and of itself help Britain to be more "safe"?

And talk of it being "socially just" seems ripe for the Royle raspberry, "My arse!"

Wednesday, 4 April 2007

What to do with a problem like Iran?

Well, now that the hostages are on their way home, perhaps this idea from a Samizdata contributor can be put into cold storage.

"Blair should offer an apology through the UN to secure their release.

As soon as the servicemen are free he should issue another statement revoking his apology.

The Royal Navy should then mine all Iranian ports and destroy Iran's major cities through the use of the Royal Navy's cruise missiles. The British government should order the immediate construction of 5 Nimitz aircraft carriers and make all Royal Air Force Typhoons flight-deck compatible.

The Typhoons should then systematically reduce the rest of Iran to rubble."

For now.

Arthurian Legend is off to Barcelona for Easter.

Monday, 2 April 2007

Up Himself

The Independent today carries an interview that Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger gave to Piers Morgan.

This quote is bound to get one or two people riled:


"The Guardian is a liberal, progressive, intelligent, internationalist paper which operates to certain ethical standards. And that's what I have to do. So if you betray that edict by backing UKIP in an election, for example, you would have to leave."

Arrogant little twerp.